Many believe that the best man's only job is to ruin the poor unsuspecting groom on the stag do.

This is of course a very important duty and must have be carefully planned and carried out with military precision.

Believe it or not there are other duties that a good best man must be aware of.

There may be a need for the best man to help plan or organise a few of the wedding details.

This of course must be taken into consideration by the groom when appointing best man as giving your knuckle dragging friend who will supply the strippers and beer but will forget the wedding ring on the day may seem a good idea to the rest of the boys but not such a good idea when the doggy do do hits the fan.

Your choice, your man, your dude, your homeboy, the chosen one will need to be able to think fast, halt problems in their tracks, ride tidal waves of disaster so that any unforseen circumstances or problems arising on the wedding day can be seen off by this protector of the innocent and lord of all things cool.

Assisting the groom on the morning of his big day, and this doesn't mean getting him to the pub at opening time and telling him what a huge mistake he is making over a pint of wife beater top. Help him, do what he needs to be done and get him to the church on time or else his mother in law will never, ever forgive him and life will not be worth living.

Supervising the other duty full people at the wedding, this doesn't mean trying to bang the bridesmaids behind the church. Organise the groomsmen and ushers and ensure they are happy with what they are doing.

Another fairly important duty is the small matter of two symbolic bands of precious metal and jewels that will join the happy couple as man and wife, as hilarious as it is when the best man fumbles for the rings you would look THE biggest w*nker if you do infact forget the rings.

Having failed to convince your best mate that he is about to ruin his life, got through the ring losing gag, where instead of stained glass shattering laughther there was deadly silence and tumbleweed blowing across the church and you could almost sense a thousand thoughts calling you a knob the next thing you have to do is be a legal witness of said life ending of your bessie mate.

Once outside you will be required to leave the bridesmaid's alone for 5 minutes and organise people for the photographer and then after that ensure that everyone is either in the right transport to the reception or knows where they are going.

Once at the reception it is now time for you to brick yourself and throw enough champagne and pimms down your neck as you can. Be under no illusion your mates are ready for you, they are ready to tear your limb from limb, to heckle, mock and generally make your life hell as you stand there and try to amuse with out offending, tell everyone what a boy your mate is without the out-laws twigging on, and with out totally pissing the bride off so much that you never get to watch the footy downt he pub with your buddy again.  Good luck brothers may the force be with you.

After you have been filled in by the new father in law and the brides 5 burly bricklaying brothers for telling everyone that the bride loves it up the Gary Glitter it is your duty to toast the bride and the groom.

Once the bleeding has stopped and the pain has eased go and throw some crap on their car, fill the aircon with cat food and your job is done, get hammered and get the bridesmaid bent over!