A man was at the country club for his weekly round of golf. He began His round with an eagle on the first hole and a birdie on the second. On the third hole he had just scored his first ever hole-in-one when his cell phone rang.

It was a doctor notifying him that his wife had just been in a terrible accident and was in critical condition and in the ICU.

The man told the doctor to inform his wife where he was and that the he'd be there as soon as possible. As he hung up he realized he was leaving what was shaping up to be his best ever round of golf. He decided to get in a couple of more holes before heading to the hospital.

He ended up playing all eighteen, finishing his round shooting a personal best 61, shattering the club record by five strokes and beating his previous best game by more than 10. He was jubilant....

Then he remembered his wife. Feeling guilty he dashed to the hospital.

He saw the doctor in the corridor and asked about his wife's condition.

The doctor glared at him and shouted, "You went ahead and finished Your round of golf didn't you!

I hope you're proud of yourself! While you were out for the past Four hours enjoying yourself at the country club your wife has been languishing in the ICU! It's just as well you went ahead and finished that round because it will be more than likely your last!" "For the rest of her life she will require 'round the clock care. And you'll be her care giver!"

The man was feeling so guilty he broke down and sobbed

The doctor snickered and said, "Just messing around. She's dead.

What'd you shoot?"

"First the prostitutes, now the turkeys. The chances of getting a gobble in Suffolk are getting quite remote..."

Tony Blair was visiting a primary school and he visited one of the classes.

They were in the middle of a discussion related to words and their meanings.

The teacher asked the Prime Minister if he would like to lead the discussion on the word tragedy". So the illustrious leader asked the class for an example of a "tragedy".

One little boy stood up and offered: "If my best friend, who lives on a farm, is playing in the field & a tractor runs over him and kills him, that would be a 'tragedy'".

"No," said Blair, "that would be an accident."

A little girl raised her hand: "If a school bus carrying fifty children drove over a cliff, killing everyone inside, that would be a tragedy."

"I'm afraid not," explained the Prime Minister, "that's what we would call a great loss."

The room went silent. No other children volunteered. Tony searched the room.

"Isn't there someone here who can give me an example of tragedy?"

Finally, at the back of the room, a small boy raised his hand...In a quiet voice he said: "If the Air plane carrying you and Mrs Blair was struck by a "friendly fire" missile & blown to smithereens, that would be a tragedy."

"Fantastic!" exclaimed Tony Blair. "That's right. And can you tell me why that would be tragedy?"

"Well," says the boy "it has to be a tragedy, because it certainly wouldn't be a great loss and it probably wouldn't be a f*cking accident either!