Papa Smurf Stag party pranks

A guy at a mates work just came back from a 4 day Stag do.

Basically they rented a midget for the 4 days and handcuffed him to the stag.

They painted the midget blue and dressed him like a smurf and the poor guy had to be handcuffed 24 hours a day for 4 days to the stag.

The guys on the stag paid for all the midgets food and drink and paid for his flight etc (cost around £850 if you wanted to do the same) but the guy had to do everything with the stag......eat, drink, swim, sleep, wee etc etc

this has got to be the funniest stag prank i have ever seen.....please can i just say that no midgets were harmed during the weekend.  

Hopefully the friends at your stag party will have a memorable time, too. Make it interesting by handing out some funny party favors for your friends to remember. They don't have to be fancy like your wedding favors or cutesy like baby shower favors - you can find something manly and cool, too

Rinky Dink Panther

In a land far away in a time not so far away there was a stag weekend beginning in full swing. All the chaps were dressed in suitably ridiculous attire; I myself was dressed in a pink panther suit.

To set the record straight I wasn’t the stag just a crazy fool who has no self control when It comes to drinking, showing off and being the centre of attention. I was at the time a single chap and ready to sow my seed as much as possible over the coming 3 days of fun. The night had begun in full swing, well it had really began as an afternoon session and just blurred into the night time session.

We were in the third drinking establishment of the evening and I was well and truly lubed and the silver tongued patter was rolling of the tongue, at this point to no avail. Out the corner of my eye I spotted 2 honeys, real stunners, in the name of all things good and right these girls needed some of my charm and attention, if they were lucky some of my lovin later.

I grabbed the first available wing man, this happened to be Barney rubble, and off we went. Drinks were offered and accepted, small talk and witty anecdotes were exchanged, all stations were go and ready for take off. Things were going fantastic, until it started, the spinning, stomach spasms, and dizziness, the feeling of all things evil rising from the pit of your stomach further and further. I was out of the door quicker than a scouser out of the door on giro day.

I just couldn’t hold it in anymore. I ran for the bushes and began throwing up like crazy. my head in the bushes and my arse pointing at all the people, pink tail wagging and all. I just couldn't stop throwing up, when suddenly severe cramps in my lower regions took hold of me, then to my horror I started shitting all over myself. It was a disaster. Drunk as I was, I didn’t know whether to turn and vomit to their faces or keep shitting there until it came out down my furry pink pants. The saddest part of this story is that later I was told that this really beautiful, foxy, large chested sort was going to bang me like a shit house door in a gale.

Instead of an all night session of toe curling and screaming I had the indignity of the long walk home in my now not so pink and fluffy suit, shit and puke stains for all to see. Needless to say i took an huge amount of p*ss taking for the next few years and as hard as i tried i didn't get my deposit back from the fancy dress shop.

Bearded Japes

In Sweden it is a bit of a custom for the groom to be kidnapped and whisked off somewhere for his stag night, which usually lasts all day and all night rather than the typical British stag night where you all arrange it beforehand go out get drunk and hire a stripper.

The Swedes do it different. The groom has no idea until he gets nabbed. He might be dressed up in something crazy... and go do something funny...and then the fun starts!

This particular guy is a keen sailor and when he was kidnapped for his stag night they pasted a false "skippers-beard" on him and put him at the helm of a 60-foot yacht and let him be skipper for the day...

Much beer and fine food was consumed. But nothing... nasty happened to him at all...

In the evening when they got back on land and were getting cleaned up for the night club... they all had a sauna as is customary in Sweden....

Imagine the groom’s horror when he walked into the sauna where his naked buddies were waiting for him and then to notice that best mate number one had no pubic hair ...

Neither did friend two ...

Nor three ...

Or four...

Now check out the false beard again...........

Dear Deidre

Shame of stag romp with two strippers

MY stag night ended with me and two dancers having sex – it was like something you’d see on an X-rated film.

I am 21 and supposed to be getting married in a few weeks to my gorgeous fiancee, who I love so much. Recently a bunch of lads and I went to London for my stag weekend. We had a brilliant time with loads to drink and ended up at a strip club.

I’d never been to one before and couldn’t quite believe what I was seeing.

Two of the dancers came over to us at the end of their act and had a drink — they were really beautiful and friendly girls.

We got chatting, they had a whisper to each other and then offered to come back to our hotel and dance for us free. As soon as we got into our room the girls started dancing and undressing. Before long they were totally naked and they could see we were really enjoying the performance.

Then they started playing with each other and I started to get really turned on. I couldn’t resist joining in. I’ve never felt so excited in my life, it really was like starring in your own movie.

They had gone next morning and at first I thought I’d just had an amazing dream — then I realised it happened for real. I am left full of guilt, so much so that I am thinking of calling off the wedding.

I love my fiancée but I am afraid that if I marry her I will end up breaking her heart. If I could be so stupid, how do I know I won’t be again after we are married?

DEIDRE SAYS: First deal with the reality of your situation you loser.

Remember the saying "what happens away stays away, you are a legend! a pimp daddy shagtastic king.

OK, you behaved recklessly under the influence of alcohol but now you need to stop crying like a little girl and get over it, your getting married, and at the age of 21 so that was your last chance of great wild hot sex and you took it, enjoy it pencil dick as it's not coming round again any time soon. That is till your divorced by your 22nd birthday as you probably have a dose and have passed that on to your wife to be.

Dear Deidre part 2  

Wife left me over stag night hooker

I had sex with a prostitute on my stag night and when my new wife found out she left me. Now on top of everything else I suspect I might be gay.

I’m 21 and my wife is 26. We were together for four years and got married two months ago. I had a great stag night with my mates. We went to almost every pub in town and everyone was getting on brilliantly. They kept saying they had a surprise for me and when the night came to an end, I found out they had organised a prostitute. I was so drunk I went along with the situation and we had sex. Afterwards I forgot all about it.

The wedding was wonderful. My wife and I decided to start a family as soon as possible so I stopped using protection. Then I noticed a stinging sensation and a discharge just where you don’t want it. I was even more worried when my wife was also having trouble. I realised I would have to tell her about my stag night.

She was furious and said it was the end of us. She packed her bags and went to her sister’s. I was so upset I couldn’t think.

My best mate, who is gay, has been a really good friend during this time. I now think I have strong feelings for him. Then the other night my wife phoned to tell me she is pregnant. I feel torn in pieces. I should have been looking forward to starting a loving family with my wife. Instead I’m not even sure I want to be married.

DEIDRE SAYS: Don’t go so fast! I remember you, what did i tell you, get to the clinic and get that swab down your japs eye, did you listen, NO!

When will you people trust me and do as i say, now you are 21, married, you don't want to be, have a dose, a child on the way, family of in laws that know you gave their princess a dose.

Not only that you now think that you may play for both city and united, Classic!

Your screwed mate, you have to decide if you want to be the one being screwed or the one doing the screwing, just know that if you ditch your pregnant wife and shack up with your best mate, your wife's brothers may well visit you with a pair of pliers and a blow torch and get medieval on your todger, thus meaning that you will have a life time of taking and no giving.

Good luck loser, your on your own.